In Love with a Mudblood
by demonchilde18
Summary: In love with a girl he knows he shouldn't be, Lucius Malfoy has a bit of a problem.


Disclaimer: Not mine. How can you tell? I seriously doubt that J.K.R. would have Lucius/Lily as a pairing.

Story A/N: sigh I'm doing het. shakes head This should so be a slash story... but Aisling asked for a Lucius/Lily het story, so here you go! This is cuz she's so amazing. Do you have any idea how much better she makes my stories?! Thanks, girl! Yes, I've been IMing far too much with my southern friends. hangs head in shame So, this being my first, and probably only het story, review! Thanks! Love you all! Though knowing me, it'll end up a slash story...

A/N: If the story seems different at the end, it's because I started this a while ago, then couldn't write it, then finished it. So, different moods and all... it was SUPPOSED to end happier, but I've been in a bit of a depressed mood for a while, so here you have it. A depressed ending, but it's humorous, at least I think so, along the way! So, ta da? And I want to apologize for the total lack of updates in everything. I've just about lost my mind, and getting e-mails all the time of people telling me about how I need to update really doesn't help me. To give you an idea: finding out my mom's getting surgery the day before she does, and opening up my e-mail to find 10 e-mails among the other 100 telling me about how much I suck because I haven't updated doesn't exactly make my day. I'm sorry for complaining, but because this'll be the only story or update I put out for a while, I needed to get the message across. Now please, enjoy the story, and nice reviews are very much so appreciated.

Beta: Thanks, Mo (Freedom Isn't Free), for reading this! You're awesome!

Any thing in italics are Lucius' thoughts and XxXx means a change in setting.

XxXx

My name is Lucius Malfoy, and I'm in love with a Mudblood. There, I said it. The Pureblood in love with the Mudblood. She should be the last person I look at, but I find myself drawn to her regardless. And when I say the last, I mean the very last. That means I shouldn't be staring at her all the time. I have a perfectly beautiful and amazing fiancé: Narcissa Black is an extremely pretty and wonderful person. Yet, she doesn't seem to be enough for me. She knows... Narcissa, that is. She knows that I'm in love with one of her best friends. My own best friend knows that I'm in love with her. Lily, that is. Every time I pass Severus, he wears a smug little smile. That smug little smile tells me just how amusing he finds this whole situation. He's two years younger, and he acts like he knows all. Though, he might have a point there. Me, the epitome of all things Slytherin, in love with Lily Evans, Mudblood, Gryffindor Prefect, a fifth year to my seventh, best friends with Severus, Lupin, and Narcissa, and sought after by Potter. I think I left out abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous. I am forced to watch as every day Potter makes yet another pass at her. Every day, I pray that today is the day that Lily Evans sees me as more than a friend to her friends or a Death Eater-in-training.

Of course, when that day comes, I'm adding one more prayer that I'll manage to keep what little part of my brain actually functions correctly.

XxXx

I'm sitting in the library, researching with Severus. We have a potions essay due tomorrow. We've both finished, but we want to add more. Adding more never hurts...and neither does sucking up, but a Malfoy never sucks up. Hearing footsteps, Severus glances up. Lily walks in, interrupting my thoughts, and sits between me and Severus.

"Hey, Sev." Her voice is soft and oh-so pretty.

Severus grimaces and comments, "Lily, what have I told you about calling me that abomination?"

Lily laughs, sending shivers down my spine. "You said not to!"

Severus rolls his eyes. "You're not going to listen to me, are you?"

She shakes her head, her red hair spreading out around her. "What would the point in that be?"

Severus sighs and glares at her. Normally, those glares send people running in fear, sometimes even me, but Lily just laughs again. "Fine; Lucius and I are researching. Care to join us?"

Lily smiles sweetly. "If you promise to keep Potter away, then sure." She flashes me a small smile, and if I hadn't been sitting down, I would have fallen. Not that either of them will ever know that. Though the smug smirk on Severus' face hints to the fact that he already knows. That damn man knows me better than I know me, most of the time!

The three of us sit around the table and research quietly. Well, the other two might be researching, but I'm a bit more preoccupied by the dazzling red-head sitting next to me. I'm also a bit preoccupied about when I started calling her Lily... I have to be careful with that when I speak, though a Malfoy is always careful...and that snort stayed internal. I must have sunk pretty low to be parroting my father's words. Eventually, a loud laugh sounds through the library, shattering the peace.

Lily's green eyes widen and she whispers frantically, "Help me! I can't let him see me!" _Show no interest, Lucius, no interest. Just because she doesn't want Potter, doesn't mean she wants you._ My body is currently attempting to convince me otherwise.

Sure enough, James Potter comes swaggering down the small hall, flagged by Black and Lupin. Pettigrew is behind them, somewhere. He is of no concern to us. Not that Potter or Black are concerns to me, Potter is just attempting to steal my girl. _No, wait! That's not what I meant..._ There's even treachery in my own brain! Mutiny!

I sweep all my books into my bag and take care to make sure that all of Lily's books are in there as well. I straighten up and look Potter in the eye. He has a haughty smirk on his lips. Nowhere near as perfected as either mine or Severus', but it serves the purpose, I suppose. My gray eyes meet his brown and I offer him a mock bow. He doesn't know that I'm comparing us. My gray eyes are more unique than his brown. My tamed blond hair is so much better than his mop. I've must've sunk pretty low to be comparing myself, a Malfoy, and Malfoy heir no less, to a Potter.

"What a pleasure to see you here." I keep all scorn out of my voice and turn to Severus. "You will only be a moment longer, correct?" I've got it all figured out, and if the soft gleam in his eye is anything to go by, he's pretty much read my mind.

"Of course. You wouldn't mind waiting, would you?" We both hide our smirks at Severus' carefully said words. Potter and Black may have great fun teasing Severus, but they both know that they would be foolish to go against me. They will leave, being the predictable Gryffindors they are, when they realize that I'm staying, which will then allow Lily to leave without any of them the wiser. But I'd be just as happy if she came with me... _No, that's not what I meant!_ I'm resisting the urge to attempt to rip my hair out... I'd never hear the end of it if I did that in front of these people.

Lupin might stay, but he and Lily are friends, so it will pose no problem. Sure enough, the two leaders of the Marauders glare and turn to walk out the door. Lupin sits down in a chair, and pulls over the book that Severus was looking at. Black turns around, a look of mild anger gracing his face. I must say, the look truly doesn't suit him.

"Remus, aren't you coming?"

The sandy-haired boy looks up. "I'll just be a minute, okay, Siri? I just want to talk to Severus for a bit."

I still haven't figured out what Severus sees in the boy, but all I can say for him is that he's the most mature out of his little band of friends. However, in afterthought, that's really not saying very much at all.

Black rolls his eyes and mutters, "Okay, fine."

The other three Marauders leave, and I sit down. Lupin is between me and Severus, and when Lily pops her head back up and takes her seat, she is between me and Severus, across from Lupin. Her eyes are laughing and Lupin looks up at her with what could be called mild surprise.

"Oh, Lily! I had no idea you were here!"

She laughs and I fight to contain the shudder of excitement that sound sends down my spine. She and Lupin stand up and wave.

"Bye! I guess we'll be seeing you guys around." Lily winks and Remus just takes her arm and they walk out of the library.

No one notices that Lily doesn't have her books, not even I. Well, one does, but Severus is not about to say anything. Instead, he leans down and begins to show interest in his book again.

XxXx

We get back to the common room and I dump my books onto my bed. Imagine my shock when Lily's books came out with my own. I look up at Severus with what I figured to be disbelief in my eyes. He smirks and goes back to his own room to use the bathroom to wash up. That leaves me with my brain. My oh-so treacherous brain. Do I go up to the Gryffindor tower and chance running into the Marauders? My brain answers swiftly: Hell no. I may love Lily, but I'm not voluntarily putting up with those four just to give her back her books. She might come down here, but I doubt that. All that leaves is giving them to her in the morning before classes. I've just decided what I'm going to do, and have resigned myself to it no less, when a third-year kid pokes his head into the room.

"Um... Mr. Malfoy? There's some girl just outside the common room that says she needs to talk to you."

I glare at the kid, stupid brat, until he practically runs out the room. No self-respecting Slytherin runs, but then, I guess he has time to learn. I stand up, gracefully of course, and smooth out my hair and robes. I walk downstairs knowing that everyone is watching my every move. It feels good to be so wanted. Now if only the one person I wanted to want me actually did want me... I stopped fractionally as I tried to decipher the sentence I had just thought up. Shaking my head imperceptibly, I continue and step out of the portrait of the beautiful serpent that protects our common room. I am once again shocked as none other than Lily Evans is standing in front of me, arms crossed across her chest and right foot absently tapping.

"Malfoy, you wouldn't happen to know where my books are, would you?" Her eyes pierce right through me. My throat closes up and I begin mentally cursing my pathetically hormonal teenage body.

I nod weakly. "I actually have them upstairs. Would it trouble you to accompany me there to retrieve them?" Oh god, I must have come off as such a ponce right then--such big words; I wanted to smack myself.

She looks at me warily, then nods her head. "I'll go, but let's get this over with."

I walk back into the common room, the Gryffindor following me. Many Slytherins glance at the intruding Gryffindor before turning to whatever it was that had grabbed their attention before we arrived, though the glare I leveled at them probably had something to do with it. I head to the stairs going up to my room, praying that Lily is following me. Finally reaching the room, she rushes past me when she sees her books on my bed. I decide not to inform her about how nice it felt to have her pressing against me for that brief moment, and about how I'd like to have her pressed against me for much longer than that... _No! Stupid brain!_ Her back is to me, so I try and subtly shift to hide the massive erection that sprung up at those thoughts.

She's so busy gathering up all her books, mostly because they're all mixed in with mine, that I figure I'll have enough time to engage myself in an amazing bout of self-pity. Why do I feel I'm entitled to some self-pity? It's simple really. The girl I like, and would like to shag into the bed or any horizontal or even vertical surface, I'm not picky, really, is currently in my room, on my bed, and I'm stuck leaning against the wall hiding my newest display of self-control.

Of course, I'm so absorbed in these thoughts that I miss when she says, "I think I have all my books. Can you just lead me out, Malfoy?"

Obviously she gets annoyed fast, and she pokes me in the chest, hard. Of course, my brain decides to kick in when she's standing less than two feet away from her. I can feel her body heat, and she can probably feel mine. Gods, I can even smell that she used some kind of fruity shampoo this morning.

"Malfoy?" Lily leans in probably to check if I'm still alive. Of course, with her even closer, I find myself getting close to breaking. Shoving her away feels like it's going against every one of my instincts. She's scowling at me now, but damn, she looks hot when she's angry. She opens her mouth, most likely to tell me off or something like that, but I can't help myself.

I grab her, push her against the wall, and kiss her. She melts into my arms, and for a moment, I'm not a Malfoy and she's not a Mudblood. I'm Lucius and she's Lily, two young people who happen to love each other. Well, maybe I love her, and she just wants to make out with the hottest guy in school, but at least we each get our way. Then she pulls away from me.

"Malfoy! What are you doing?!"

Okay, maybe I was wrong about her actually wanting to kiss me, but I still kissed her! She's still glaring at me, so I'm guessing maybe now is explaining time... She looks ready to storm out, and I can't have that.

So I once again grab her arm. "Lily!"

The sound of her name stops her in dead in her tracks. Now if my other commands would work just as well with her... _Now is NOT the time to be thinking like that, Lucius!_

She turns around and looks at me. "Malfoy, what do you want with me?"

She sounds almost weary, and her eyes are begging with me. I'd never refuse her anything, so I pull her over to my bed, and sit her down. Lily looks like she's ready to stand up and bolt, but for some reason she doesn't.

Her next words make it very clear why she didn't. "Okay, Malfoy. I get you like me. And I get that it's against everything you've ever learned. But why me? What's so special about me?" She looks up at me with those green eyes, and I'm seriously tempted to tell her, 'Look in the mirror.' But of course, I don't. Instead, I sit down next to her and start explaining.

"Why **not** you? You're smart, funny, beautiful, everything a guy looks for in a girl. Also the fact that I can't have you probably has a lot to do with it." I have to stop there for a second. I just realized I have no idea whatsoever how to explain this. I lower my head between my legs and fist my hands through my hair. I feel the bed lift as she stands up. Two fingers are pressed under my chin, and I find myself staring into those green eyes that haunt me. She lowers her face to mine, and kisses me softly.

Pulling away, she looks at me sadly. "Lucius, Narcissa loves you. Be happy with her. We would never work out. I'm sorry." Lily turns and walks out of my room, down the stairs, through the common room, and out of my life.

XxXx

I stand by their window and watch as she cuddles her brat close. Her husband walks over to her and gently kisses her. My heart clenches and my mask slips for a second as I try to keep back the soft cry that's threatening to escape. I shouldn't be here, I know I shouldn't. But that should be my child she is holding, my lips she is kissing. Our child, our passion. But no. They both belong to James Potter. The child has a messy black mop of hair and I had caught a glimpse of his bright green eyes only a moment before. Her bright green eyes. Her child...but not mine. I have to get over this. I have a life at home. Not the life I want, not the life with her in it, not the life with her passion, but a life nonetheless.

I turn away sadly and Apparate home to my own child. My own, not green-eyed, child.

XxXx

It's 12 years later and I find myself staring into those brilliant green eyes. The same ones that had captivated me all those years ago. Bright green, full of life, sparkling with some unknown joke. Only, they're now framed by tanned skin and black hair. Not the pale skin and red hair they used to. They now belong to one Harry James Potter. His mother's son; I find myself drawn to the person he is, just as I was drawn to the person his mother was. I know I love him. How, you ask? I know, because I loved his mother. And he is nothing, if not his mother.


End file.
